Eating Salad Drunk edited by Gabe Henry

  Sometimes we just need something light. Eating Salad Drunk suits that purpose; it’s a collection of haiku poems by a smattering of comedians and edited by Gabe Henry. The book includes comedians like Mike Birbiglia, Maria Bamford, Colin Mochrie, Bob Odenkirk, Margaret Cho, and more. The haiku works well for comedians because in allows them to essentially share a bunch of one-liner jokes in 17 syllables. There are some great jokes and absurd moments, and some poems that teeter on the edge of actually expressing wisdom.

One thing that’s pretty neat is that the introduction to the book gives a brief history of the haiku form. My perception of haiku is that they are typically about the serenity of nature and the distillation of a profound feeling. Henry points out, though, that there’s a bawdy and bodily quality to a number of early haiku poems. One of the earliest haiku, Henry notes, is by Yamazaki Sōkan: “Even at the time / When my father lay dying / I still kept farting” (XVII). For a comedy book, teaching me something new about the genre is pretty cool.

As a collection, there’s some nice variety in the topics and approaches of the comedian-poets. The poems are grouped, sometimes loosely, under the categories of screen time, food, friends & family, modern romance, struggles, nature calls, entertainment, words of wisdom, and self love & loathing. Several of the comedian-poets have entries in multiple of the categories, and I’m curious how the collection might have looked different if it were arranged by comedian rather than by subject matter. I wonder if it would help to get a better grasp of each comedian’s “voice” or if it would push comedians into some unfamiliar territory in their work.

The book is fun and light. I don’t have much “deep” commentary for the poems, but I will share some of my favourites, which often seem to involve either wordplay or absurdity. The way that the poems subvert expectations are just the best. Without further ado, have a gander at some of my favourites from Eating Salad Drunk:

From Aparna Nancherla:

Got to the end of
The internet. Turns out I

Was dead the whole time. (25)

Framing the internet like a novel with a twist ending has done before (SimpsonsDidIt.gif), but it has a definite charm that the twist ending is solipsistic in nature and also has the double meaning that you were dead the whole time you were surfing.

From George Wallace, with a focus on wordplay:

I’ll eat a skirt steak
While wearing a pair of pants.
I don’t give a shit. (42)

Also in the wordplay file from Myq Kaplan, who gets several entries in the collection:

Cafeteria.

Café plus bacteria?
I will eat at home. (47)

Probably the food poem that got the biggest laugh-out-loud reaction from me due to its absurdity and playfulness:

Oh, Fruit by the Foot.
You flout the metric system.

In a tasty way. (53)

That piece by Jo Firestone and Mike Dicenzo is such a joyful spin. The word “flout” is just perfectly elevated for such a stupid little poem.

Some poems are rooted in the human experience and its own silliness and absurdity. There’s a fair amount that fails to land for me when discussing social media, but Liz Magee has a great joke here about our social bonds:

Happy birthday, friend!
Posted a pic where I look
Great and you look fine. (68)

That is a finely crafted, elegant joke that works for its concept but also the voice. I can just imagine the way a comedian might present the word “fine.”

Drawing on some of Henry’s observations on the lewdness of early haiku, there are a few relationship poems that are risqué but have that same kind of wordplay and cutting humour, as seen in the following poems by Jes Tom and Kelly Bachman respectively:

A “tight five” is a
Stand-up set, or a new name
For fisting. You choose. (93)

My ex eats ass now.
Somehow that hurts way more than
All of his success. (93)

Or even Myq Kaplan’s silly:

Necrophilia
Is not what I thought it was.
I like sex with necks. (96).

So ridiculous and absurd but for that reason irresistible.

Some of the poems are also a little bit sad or stand out as more traditionally poetic through, for example, anthropomorphism, as in Laura Silverman’s piece:

Three in the morning
Refrigerator’s humming.
Must not know the words. (57).

There’s something mournful about that, but also endearing that this poor fridge is presented in its ignorance of the words. Kyle Ayers also personifies Netflix in an odd way:

When I die, someone
Scroll through my Netflix for me.
It likes the scrolling. (24)

Similarly, there’s a funny but dark poem by Aparna Nancherla that goes as follows:

Accidentally

FaceTimed my doctor’s office.
The call was declined. (5)

Or the sad response to capitalism we see in Sierra Katow:

The dogs I follow
On Instagram have better
Lives than most of us. (7)

I imagine lots of people would find a number of poems in the collection relatable, especially with respect to office culture and dating culture. Kyle Ayers writes, for example,

“Per my last email”
Is just me being polite.
Fuckin REPLY NOW. (10)

And the disconnect in communication of situationships, for example, as presented by Karen Chee:

“Sorry, just saw this!”
He says, and I believe him
Because I want to. (10)

Overall, there are a lot of fun poems and silly jokes told in a precise and concise format. Not all of them land or resonate, but there are enough in here that elicit a chuckle to make the book a fun hour long venture.

And that’s my tight five. Happy reading!